Doubt: Job

So another semester is coming to an end.

I know I really didn't do well.
I am staying in this course, because I really like it. But MORE effort. Yes. Really. MOOOORE!

Based on my performances on the past years and semesters,
I am declining.

I see my friends get exempted in their final exams.
Got the highest scores in quizzes.

I am happy for them.
But at the same time I envy them.

"Lord, why can't I be that.
Why can't I be on the top too?
I was wasn't I?"

I even consider not going to church just to "study".

My friends do NOT go to church regularly.
Do NOT have "ministries" in church.
Do NOT have hands-on care on other people.
Do NOT regularly read their Bibles.
Swears.
Cheats.
Do NOT do their best at all times (Yeah.. Me too :D)
And all the regular student "cheats", yet....

THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME!!!!

What the heck?!

So I guess, the formula is like that.
Be like them?

Seems repulsive to me, yet
It's freaking effective.

*Thinking*
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